In Tarot the “Death” card ultimately brings change. Death has transformed my life in many ways. One role I’m struggling to accept is that of Patriarch. With my Bopchie firmly in her role as Matriarch, there is no one in the family lineage for me to turn to for guidance. I must become the family Sage. This hit me yesterday when I received a rattled voice message from my grandmother. Busy outside removing the Christmas lights, her call was missed. Feeling lost and uncertain she began calling my sisters looking for me, she needed assistance ASAP.
WWIT?! Fifteen minutes had passed between her fist call to me and the one I returned to her. Yet, she seemed as if it had been hours by the panic in her voice. During the call she nearly called me Chester (her husband) once and actually called me Chester (her son) twice. She was stressing due to her doctor’s “demand for an in-office visit.” She didn’t know how she was going to make it to the appointment, “the doctor wants me there by Ambulance in a stretcher”, she screeched! I quickly assured her that “I would be there for” her. I would arrive in plenty of time; to transport her to and from the doctor’s appointment and to make sure home is locked and secure. She says, “The High Point office always tells us to lock up due to so many robberies in the area.” I assured her that both home and she would be Safe. The appointment is the day after Mom & Dad are laid to rest.
This responsibility has passed to me, soon I will be her durable power of attorney. I understand her, I know her story. She has survived her husband and son all while living alone in her home. She has homecare and is so afraid of being in “an assisted living facility (ALF).” Her future is scary and uncertain. I willingly and lovingly consider it an honor to hold the reigns given to me by my father to care for my 98 year old grandmother. This is an obligation that I do not take lightly. She is our Family Matron and could easily out live her Sister Mary, who passed away at 103.