Of a Dull Somber Color

I have been dancing between depression and despair all year. The financial drain of one income had already added to the daily stress of life before the delightful season of Federal Income Tax reporting hit at work. Then mother went into the hospital, later to be diagnosed with stage 3 liver cirrhosis and Hep C. That began a journey for my entire family that lasted until her passing in late April.  From that I am still mending.

I just finished my first week back to work. What was I thinking after taking a month and a half to mourn and recover? My co-workers did do an amazing job with my duties while I was a way. They made my return to the busiest week of our monthly work cycle seem as if I hadn’t been gone a day. The work returned just as I had left it and each day I smiled and stayed positive as the duties and stress kept rising. Most days were good ones, today wasn’t one of them. It seemed no matter what I did, it was wrong. Do I really have 884 more work weeks before retirement?

Sadness comes in all colors, this week mine has been “Inky Blue” (SW 9149). Waves of emotion ebbing and flowing as I hover between despair and depression. Life will get better, I know that. Yet there are some days no matter what you do, it feels like the entire world and everyone in it are out to foil you. Let’s hope the weekend brings with it a respite.DullSomber

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